[ if he had more memories of his past, perhaps he would have been able to focus on them more and shut out the panic that has been pressed in on him - but the details are far too vivid, and his mind is stuck playing the scenes out in an endless loop. add's presence breaks that repetition somewhat, though. simple questions and words like these are easier for him to understand, to give him a guide away from focusing solely on the darkness within. but, how to answer?

he tries to grasp at the splintered scenes, drawing words from them like thread ]

I wasn't alone... there were people. I... don't know who. [ but they were kind, even if he can't see their faces ] They were going, somewhere to fight. Demons. A lot of demons.

[ a tower, a dark sky. so much pain, like hands tearing into his body. his grip on add's hand tightens, but not by much. ]

I was there to. Look for something. Someone. The Goddess would heal me with her light, if only.... if only I could reach her. [ he doesn't remember how he went back to those people who were with him at the beginning. maybe he didn't at all. it would fit the explanation... he didn't think he would be able to move in that state, from seeing add paralyzed with fear ] I couldn't. I called and called, but she didn't answer at all....

[ and for some reason, he feels like maybe, he should've seen it coming from a long way away. how could a failure like him ever be good for anything? if he can't do even his job, then he's just as w̬͘o̥r̵͇͉̱t̝͝h̨̩l҉̭̲͉̝͙̬e̥s͘s͏̭͚ as the nasods... ]

............................ then the void consumed everything.

[ he's quiet now, the emotion subsiding somewhat, as his thoughts turn toward the darkness around them and the numbing feeling that it gives ]